Friday, September 26, 2008


I must admit that I have been a bit depressed. It has really hit me that my Mom isn't here. It has only been six months, yet it feels like forever. I miss her so much, she was my best friend.

I called her to just vent and get things off my chest....even if I didn't take her advice, it helped me deal. I have tried walking and talking into my cell phone pretending she is listening, but it's not the same. I think it is hitting me because of school. She would always call me to see how the kiddo's were doing, and if they weren't doing their work, she would talk to them. She always called Dylan to tell him that she finally beat a level on Mario. (She had her own Game Boy Advance and loved to play!!) She was such an amazing woman. She could do anything!! I miss calling her and having her walk me through how to upholster my kids new stools, or how to apply the leather patch to my couch. I use to complain about my dh to her also. I love my dh, but sometimes I just need to vent about him. Now I have no-one. I can't complain to him about himself!!! I can't complain to his family about him!! I can't complain to my kids about their dear daddy!!
I know that death is part of life, and that she is in a much better place. Pain free and with all her family and friends whom have been waiting to see her, but it still is hard. I do have my Faith, but sometimes it just gets to you.
Another blogger friend Vaperessence ( I think that was her blog), lost her mom to cancer, but now her blog is gone. I hope she is doing okay.
Thanks for reading and please pray for me. I need it.
Enjoy each other and take alot of pictures and memories of your life.


Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Grieving is such a long process - especially when it is someone so dear whom we have lost. I'll be thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers.

Red said...

You are blessed to have such a wonderful relationship with your mother. Mine is not a bad one, we are just on different levels of life. She is selfish, very selfish, I like to be much more giving, and not just in a financial way, which is how she does her giving.

I have you in my thoughts and hope you manage through this grieving stage.

Vaporescne(sp?) was having a rough time, so she let that blog go, but at the bottom of my blogs I read is her new blog(mostly poetry) With Presence of Poesie

She is doing better, but still thinks of her mother often. I think she would like to hear from someone who is going through what she is going through. there is nothing like a kind word to get you through the day.

Freakmom said...

Like Chocolate said, it takes a long time to properly grieve. Don't let anyone tell you it is taking you too long. Don't rush it.

I know we aren't the same, but you do have us friends when you need someone to talk to. (((Hugs)))

Big Momma said...

Your mom was so blessed to have a daughter like you. Im sure you made her proud. Your mom sounds like she was a good mom to you. Please know that I will be thinking and praying for you. Its okay to miss her.

Sherri said...

No desire in my life is as strong as my need to be mothered. I lost my mother to cancer when I was barely 15. I have a stepmother, but it isn't the same. No other woman will EVER love you the same way as your mother. Some will argue with me on that, but I am just speaking from experience.
I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I could have had my mother long enough to become her friend....I still miss her and always will!

FatcatPaulanne said...

I'm sorry.

Amie said...

thinking of you, Bun!