Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe

Chapter 2
Let's Talk
1. Of the lies mentioned in this sections, which one(s) do you most identify with?
* Everyone's kids are better than yours
* Everyone's house is cleaner than yours
* Everyone fixes better meals than you
* Everyone is more disciplined than you and way more spiritual

I would say that I believed everyone's kids are better than mine and Everyone is more disciplined than me and way more spiritual.
I work very hard to help my children in their education, yet I still compare them to where they should be and why they aren't!!! I have such a hard time motivating and the complaining gets to me. So some days I am not disciplined and say "Fine, just leave me alone." The same for spiritual. I have great ideas and we start on them, but they just get pushed aside.
I shouldn't be so hard on myself or my kids, but I am. We went through a tough year, taking care of my mom and watching her die from lung cancer. It put us behind schedule, I shouldn't care, but I do.

2. Why do you think women in particular are so prone to comparing their kids, their homes, and their spirituality against each other?

Good question. I think we are more "emotional" and tend to compare to make sure we are doing an okay job. We worry that we are "falling" short of what is expected of us. At least I am!!
I always thought it was my job to make everyone happy!!

3. Do you usually feel encouraged or discouraged after reading a homeschool magazine or book?

With the exception of this book I am reading and Heart of the Matter, usually discouraged.
I never seem to have enough time to complete what I would like to, yet everyone else seems to be doing it wonderfully. (I think that's a Homeschool lie I believe. LOL!!)

4. Why do you think that homeschooling moms feel the need to "brag" about those things that they do well or enjoy?

Because homeschooling is not all well and there is not alot to enjoy most times. When something does go well or the kids really enjoy it, I want to share to encourage!!!!

5. Are you guilty of trying to portray that you have it all together?
PPPPLease. Never... I wouldn't know where to begin!!!
6. My prayer.
Please ,dear heavenly Father, let my own confusion not pass to my children. Let kind words pass from my heart to my mouth and help me to know that I am working for you. Help me to find the best way to care for my wonderful childrens education.
The other lies is that I do believe everyone else can do it all and loves to homeschool their children, I am falling apart and feels that way.
Isn't it terrible how we "short-change" ourselves. I have had a terrible year and really need to come to grips with it. I need to let go of those feelings. It is hard when both my kids fight from the time they get up to the time they go to bed. We can't even take the dog for a walk, without a fight between the two of them. When I am excited to learn with my daughter, who is in high school, she belittles me and it hurts.
I want to keep homeschooling, but somedays I wonder if it is worth it all. Then I hear the Lord telling me to hang in there, he wishes me to do it!!!
Wow.....didn't mean to be so long!!!


Sheri said...

Women aren't, in general, very nice to each other. Oh, not all women. But I have a few friends who are extremely condescending to me. Why do I put up with it? My husband insists that they are suffering from low self-esteem and that they don't really mean it.

So maybe the comparison issues arise from self-esteem issues? I think so many of us (myself included) have our worth tied up in what others think. Which is really ridiculous if you stop and think about it, but it sure is tough to do.

Big Momma said...

You are so right on. More and More I am beginning to see that the homeschool moms who "have it all together" and love homeschooling 100% of the time either has 1 child or is not being completely truthful.

Freakmom said...

I'm starting to believe that a lot of homeschool moms are just making stuff up. Well, maybe not, but it makes me feel less inadequate if I think they are exaggerating.

Juno said...

I have to agree with you. Homeschooling and life in general does not go smoothly day in and day out for anyone. And any homeschool parent who says so is being dishonest with themselves.

I will be honest, I identify with all of those, there is no most about it. Everyone's kids are better than ours, everyones house is cleaner and everyone fixes better meals. I don't think that is being negative or telling lies or being envious in any way, shape or form. I think that is seeing what could be improved and wanting better for our family.

I, myself, tend to highlight the good parts of our day and not the bad. The reason I do that is purely to keep the peace. There is enough negativity with homeschooling in our extended families that I don't need to draw attention to those aspects when highlighting our homeschooling days. Do I lie? No. Do I leave out the the arguments, fights, bickering, incorrect/undone work, the dirty house, the uncooked meals, the occasional times mom takes a nap? Most of the time. No one likes to hear/read about the negative parts of our day and those who do want to hear it would try to use it as a reason we shouldn't homeschool. I know I don't want to look back at our homeschooling years and just remember the negative. DH, the kids and I know the truth, we aren't perfect, but no one is.

Sorry, I wrote a dissertation, but I find this topic very interesting and wanted to voice in.